Almost every family knows the scene: your child is stuck on a subtraction problem, you step in and work it the way you learned it in school. And then: "That's not how we do it." Not out of stubbornness — your child genuinely has a different method in their head, and two conflicting explanations at once are harder for a primary-school child to process than no help at all.
That's not a sign you're doing something wrong. It's because the calculation methods taught in primary schools have shifted over the decades — and can differ between regions and even between individual schools.
Why there's more than one way to do it
The same problem often has several mathematically correct solution paths. For written subtraction, for instance, many schools now teach the "count up" method (bridging from the smaller to the larger number), while many parents themselves learned the "take away with borrowing" method. Both reach the right answer — but the intermediate steps, the language, and even the notation are completely different.
The same applies to long division, to times-table strategies (some schools use a grid method as an intermediate step), and to rounding rules. Curricula are set at a regional level, but the specific method is often chosen by the individual teacher — so your child isn't learning "the" standard method, they're learning this one class's method.
The usual sources of confusion
A handful of topics reliably cause parent-vs-school mismatches:
- Written subtraction: borrowing vs. counting-up — different intermediate steps, same result.
- Long division: some schools write the remainder differently or take smaller, slower steps than what you're used to.
- Times tables: grid-method intermediate steps are unfamiliar to many parents but taught as the default in many classrooms.
- Rounding and estimation: the rule for which digit triggers rounding up is sometimes introduced differently than you remember.
How to find out which method the school uses
Before you explain anything, it's worth checking your child's exercise book or the worked examples in the textbook — the method is usually written out there with an example. If you're unsure, a short, specific question to the teacher helps: not "how do I teach my child subtraction", but "which method are you using for written subtraction right now, so I can show the same one at home". Teachers are glad to answer that question — it's in everyone's interest.
How to help without pushing your own method
The most effective first step: let your child explain how they'd approach the problem first — even if it sounds slow or unsure. That shows you which method is currently in their head, instead of talking over it. Stay in their language and sequence, even if a different route feels faster to you.
If you still want to show your own method — say, because it'll help with mental math later — label it explicitly as an extra option: "Here's another way some people do it, you can keep it in mind or not." That small framing removes the sense of competing with the school's method and lets your child decide for themselves, instead of being pulled between two "correct" adults.
What Talentists does differently
That exact confusion is one reason our help starts from the worksheet itself rather than a generic explanation: when your child gets stuck and scans the QR code, the walkthrough works with what's printed on the page — not a new method that adds another layer of confusion. That keeps the help a continuation of the lesson, not a second, competing opinion.